Top Ten Ways To Tell If Your OSHA Inspection Is Going Badly

10. OSHA sets up temporary housing in your parking lot.

9. The Compliance Officer mutters, "This is unbelievable" each time he or she enters a different area.

8. OSHA calls in a professional film crew to document conditions on your site and a reporter from "60 Minutes" tags along.

7. The Compliance Officer insists on wearing a moon suit supplied with SCBA, while your employees work in jeans and tennis shoes.

6. The Congressman you called for help won't return your call, but he does return your campaign contribution.

5. The Compliance Officer begins the opening conference with the following: "You have the right to remain silent..."

4. The Compliance Officer asks you a specific question about a report in your files, but you haven't turned any over yet.

3. The Compliance Officer knows each of your employees by their first name.

2. The Compliance Officer is a former employee that you fired.

1. Thomas M. Stohler conducts the closing conference.